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Waffle Boarding (Hockey Puck)

from Jackfish Girl LIVE! by Claire Ness

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lyrics

You’re as hard hearted as a hockey puck.
When I saw you coming I forgot to duck.
I should’ve taken my own advice,
And kept my focus and my stick on the ice.

But you got me in the five hole.
I wish that you’d missed or hit the pole.
I’ve had too many concussions to track.
But this time I’m out, flat on my back.

I’m waffle-boarding baby just to keep you at bay.
I’m on my knees, I’m butterflyin’ please.
You’ve had more shots on goal than I,
But somehow I’m still hopin’ for a tie.

You’re way offside and I’m beggin’ the ref,
To give you a penalty or sudden death.
You’re screening my goalie but the play goes on.
You’re like Cherry pickin’ what suit to don.

You’ve got me up against the boards.
You’re playing dirty like I play these chords.
The rink was resurfaced by the Zamboni.
But you don’t know a clean wipe from a slice of balony.

I’m waffle-boarding baby just to keep you at bay.
I’m on my knees, I’m butterflyin’ please.
I feel like a Leaf dried up in a drought.
Put me out of misery with a shoot-out.

This game is going into overtime.
Your high-sticking ought to be a crime.
Just wait til I get my power play
I want a 2-man advantage and a break away.
Or even better…

I’ll get a short-handed goal while my side is weak.
Fake a left, then a right, then a triple deke.
Surprise you from behind with a wrap around
And score backhanded on my re-re-rebound.

I’m waffle-boarding baby just to keep you at bay.
I’m on my knees, I’m butterflyin’ please.
I never thought a die-hard Canuck
Could be as hardhearted as a hockey puck.

credits

from Jackfish Girl LIVE!, released September 26, 2014

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Claire Ness image

Claire Ness Whitehorse, Yukon

Cheeky wit.
Swing vocals.
Wild northern spirit.

Untamed tales and bona fide love songs from a candid heart!

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